i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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