Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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