4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I didn't shave. On purpose
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
