I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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