are you so shy because you have an std?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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