ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She tied me up with her honor cords...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
