Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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