Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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