hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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