the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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