do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
