It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
