OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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