i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
