I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I think we might need a safe word for this...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
