So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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