Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
