just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
