just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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