im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
