I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
be right there i have to get my cape
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
