I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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