Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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