it hurts more in the daytime
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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