can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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