He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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