i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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