I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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