Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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