Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
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it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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