i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
