just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
