Pappa wants mamma naked
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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