i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
