Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
