I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
