everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
