I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
