My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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