So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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