U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
