SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
