Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
even my farts smell like vagina
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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