My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
