I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize