Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
