Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize