ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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