So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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