just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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