i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
