Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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