eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
no you cant smoke seaweed
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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