Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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