did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
