We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
