Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
