Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
