Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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